After giving the question some thought (and some math), I would guess that I have used anywhere from 4,000 to 5,000 syringes in the past four years. I have poked myself several thousand times within that timeframe. If I live to 50, I suppose I will have poked myself another 33,580 times. Give or take. (I'm not looking for symapthy: I'm used to poking myself. It would be weird if all of the sudden I didn't have to do it anymore. I'm just impressed by the numbers.)
Addendum: Who else is terrified of needles? I know I am. Every time I pay a visit to the phlebotomist I cannot watch the blood being drawn from my arm, and the pinching sensation that persists while the needle is inside me makes me feel queasy...even just thinking about it.
Addendum II: You don't need to say it; we're a bunch of pussies compared to the pain of, say, childbirth, kidney stones, or a long slow freeze.
Addendum III: ...And in all that time, I only had to reuse one syringe. I was at Denny's. I had forgotten to grab a clean syringe before we left home. There was a dirty one in the glucometer pack. It made me squirm.
2008/08/16
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A Slowly Growing List of Things to Look Forward To When You Have a Child
- Every day is either Christmas or Halloween or Birthday or Easter
- Leave those cats alone! They're going to scratch you and it will hurt
- You cannot lie under circumstances, but nor can you tell the literal truth
- Geez that kid is sharp
- Can I have cake? Can I have cake? Can I have cake? Huh? Daddy? Can I have cake?
- For the last time, stop asking me!
- Noticing the growth: taller and a bit heavier to carry
- Children's television shows
- Food. Wasted food
- Remembering that you once acted this way yourself
- Watching where the both of you are going
- The joy of hearing the word "fuck" being used experimentally, and justifying this experimentation by saying "Well they learn it eventually"
- TANTRUMS
- Sitting down together on the living room floor, a mess of blocks & cars & plush Care Bears strewn around you, discussing the complexities of each car's identity, its name, and why it is so humorous
- Having to take responsibility for someone else for a change
- More frustration than you're prepared for
- Wicked cackling
- Drawings of potato guys
- Learning about the world all over again
- Circular Logic
- Unexpected hugs and words put beautifully together out of context
- Waking up after 4 hours of sleep, and unexpectedly having to confront shit, in more than one place, including the carpet, a big toe, a butt, a bed, a toilet seat, and underpants
3 comments:
Just reading this post--imagining being poked 33,580 times--gives me hypertension and makes me start sweating. The thing I'm most afraid of in the world is needles. Not going to lie--the pictures you had a few days ago creeped me out. In fact, I might have peed myself just a little.
I can't stand it when I'm giving blood and the nurse misses the vein...more than once. It's happened to me...more than once.
I think if I ever found out I was diabetic, I'd die. I'd risk hypoglycemic shock before administering an insulin shot to myself.
The very thought of giving blood makes me start to hyperventilate a little.
The last time I had to get a shot, the nurse took my blood pressure before hand. I knew I had to get my TDP booster, so when she looked at the reading, she asked if my blood pressure was normally high (no, it's normally low) and said that if it was like that all the time, I should be dead by now. My pulse was at 160 bpm. I was sweating. She said "How about we give you the shot now so we can take a real reading?" I barely felt the shot, but I just about fainted when she did it. Then I bet she went out in the hallway and had a good laugh at the 24-year-old man who can't handle a little shot.
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