2009/05/11

Limitations

Limits with which to stimulate the brains:

1. Do not use any words longer than 4 letters.
2. Do not use any words longer than 5 letters.
3. Do not use any words longer than 6 letters.
4. Do not use any words longer than 7 letters.
5. Write without using these negatives: No, Not, None, Never.
6. Write in 3rd-Person Objective perspective.
7. Have at least one character speak in rhyme.
8. Write about someone you know, but change his or her sex.
9. Write within a min-max word limit: 1000–3000 words.
10. Write from the point of view of a character who is blind.
11. Write from the point of view of a character who is deaf.
12. Write from the point of view of a character who is dead.
13. Write from the point of view of a character who is dying.
14. Write from the point of view of a character who is paralyzed.
15. Write from the point of view of a character who is confronting his/her worst fear.
16. Write without Flashback.
17. In place of Flashback, use Flashforward.
18. Write a piece set entirely in one scene. If flashback or recollection is used, they must relate to the one scene in which the piece is set.
19. Write from the point of view of a character who is severely hyperactive or who is otherwise far too overstimulated.
20. Write from the point of view of a character who talks to himself or herself.
21. Write from the point of view of a character who is trying to justify to a group of people some act that the group considers unjustifiable.
22. Use an unusual setting or environment: a wine cellar; a bomb crater; a drained swimming pool; a burning building; a hot air balloon; a railroad yard; the inside of a cargo plane; a freeway underpass; a vault full of gold bullion; a hotel room, the address of which a S.W.A.T. team has mistakenly been given.
23. Write about one or more characters procrastinating: the act of procrastination is the source of conflict.
24. Write using one or more characters who have an unusual or off-the-wall hobby.
25. Write using one or more characters who have an unusual or off-the-wall pet.
26. Write using one or more characters who have an unusual or off-the-wall obsession.

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A Slowly Growing List of Things to Look Forward To When You Have a Child

  • Every day is either Christmas or Halloween or Birthday or Easter
  • Leave those cats alone! They're going to scratch you and it will hurt
  • You cannot lie under circumstances, but nor can you tell the literal truth
  • Geez that kid is sharp
  • Can I have cake? Can I have cake? Can I have cake? Huh? Daddy? Can I have cake?
  • For the last time, stop asking me!
  • Noticing the growth: taller and a bit heavier to carry
  • Children's television shows
  • Food. Wasted food
  • Remembering that you once acted this way yourself
  • Watching where the both of you are going
  • The joy of hearing the word "fuck" being used experimentally, and justifying this experimentation by saying "Well they learn it eventually"
  • TANTRUMS
  • Sitting down together on the living room floor, a mess of blocks & cars & plush Care Bears strewn around you, discussing the complexities of each car's identity, its name, and why it is so humorous
  • Having to take responsibility for someone else for a change
  • More frustration than you're prepared for
  • Wicked cackling
  • Drawings of potato guys
  • Learning about the world all over again
  • Circular Logic
  • Unexpected hugs and words put beautifully together out of context
  • Waking up after 4 hours of sleep, and unexpectedly having to confront shit, in more than one place, including the carpet, a big toe, a butt, a bed, a toilet seat, and underpants