After we get our eyeballs tattooed, we can all go out and have ringlets pierced into our backfat. Look at the pretty pink lace! It's all the rage in England, apparently. One more artifice on which errant hooks may snag.
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A Slowly Growing List of Things to Look Forward To When You Have a Child
- Every day is either Christmas or Halloween or Birthday or Easter
- Leave those cats alone! They're going to scratch you and it will hurt
- You cannot lie under circumstances, but nor can you tell the literal truth
- Geez that kid is sharp
- Can I have cake? Can I have cake? Can I have cake? Huh? Daddy? Can I have cake?
- For the last time, stop asking me!
- Noticing the growth: taller and a bit heavier to carry
- Children's television shows
- Food. Wasted food
- Remembering that you once acted this way yourself
- Watching where the both of you are going
- The joy of hearing the word "fuck" being used experimentally, and justifying this experimentation by saying "Well they learn it eventually"
- TANTRUMS
- Sitting down together on the living room floor, a mess of blocks & cars & plush Care Bears strewn around you, discussing the complexities of each car's identity, its name, and why it is so humorous
- Having to take responsibility for someone else for a change
- More frustration than you're prepared for
- Wicked cackling
- Drawings of potato guys
- Learning about the world all over again
- Circular Logic
- Unexpected hugs and words put beautifully together out of context
- Waking up after 4 hours of sleep, and unexpectedly having to confront shit, in more than one place, including the carpet, a big toe, a butt, a bed, a toilet seat, and underpants
7 comments:
Weird. I was just talking to Sam about this today. Personally, I think it's kind of attractive. but I'm not one known for good taste.
I've got no problem with this
Imagine what it looks like infected.
See, you can't go there. Nothing looks good infected. Nothing. I can think of not one thing that is attractive to the average, or not so average, male that would look good infected.
"My God Sally! Your pretty blue eyes, they're...they're INFECTED!"
I can't help it. Infection is something I go to. There are certain things I have to imagine:
1: What does it smell like?
2: Where has it been?
3: Where is it going?
4: How has it come to be as it is?
5: and Why?
6: Is it at risk for infection?
That's a good list to have. I think all college freshman should have that list and live by it.
I have internalized the list. The list and I are at one.
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