2009/03/05

Something To Do

Everyone should prepare a list of nonsense. Listen to people at the store or the mall or the Student Union. Make a list of all the weird, odd, bizarre, unintelligible, decontextualized garbage they say to each other or into their phones. Look at Farm-and-Fleet catalogs and imagine the possibilites in what they sell. Browse the Yellow Pages index for jobs. These people actually specialize! Lawn Maintenance! Bolts & Nuts! Magicians! Mattresses, Meat Processors, Quilters! Weight Control Services! Flag Poles (and the subsequent entry, Polishing Equipment and Supplies)! Searchlights and Floodlights! Call these people. Ask them about their jobs. I'm sure they'd love to talk to you. I'm certain they'd love to tell you all about themselves and what they do. How many people watch Dirty Jobs these days? It's still on the air, right?
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A Slowly Growing List of Things to Look Forward To When You Have a Child

  • Every day is either Christmas or Halloween or Birthday or Easter
  • Leave those cats alone! They're going to scratch you and it will hurt
  • You cannot lie under circumstances, but nor can you tell the literal truth
  • Geez that kid is sharp
  • Can I have cake? Can I have cake? Can I have cake? Huh? Daddy? Can I have cake?
  • For the last time, stop asking me!
  • Noticing the growth: taller and a bit heavier to carry
  • Children's television shows
  • Food. Wasted food
  • Remembering that you once acted this way yourself
  • Watching where the both of you are going
  • The joy of hearing the word "fuck" being used experimentally, and justifying this experimentation by saying "Well they learn it eventually"
  • TANTRUMS
  • Sitting down together on the living room floor, a mess of blocks & cars & plush Care Bears strewn around you, discussing the complexities of each car's identity, its name, and why it is so humorous
  • Having to take responsibility for someone else for a change
  • More frustration than you're prepared for
  • Wicked cackling
  • Drawings of potato guys
  • Learning about the world all over again
  • Circular Logic
  • Unexpected hugs and words put beautifully together out of context
  • Waking up after 4 hours of sleep, and unexpectedly having to confront shit, in more than one place, including the carpet, a big toe, a butt, a bed, a toilet seat, and underpants