I am . . .

I am a professional monkey-juggler.
I am a sideways boxer.
I am a pathetic excuse for a hairpiece.
I am turning around.
I am a spanking machine.
I am bound by a code of honor.
I am a king cobra.
I am a little man atop a rook on a chessboard.
I am a queen. A queen!
I am a broken link.
I am Ron Hansen.
I am a silverback gorilla.
I am disproportionately authentic.
I am a malingerer.
I am a six-armed potato-person.

Fuckups

I am typing this post on a replacement computer. The computer I've had almost four years went raspberry. It was only the latest of problems and interruptions. The yellowjackets, far from defeated, ignored their eviction notice for a time. The landlord hired a professional fumigator, who said that maintenance guy did nothing to destroy the Queen and did not adequately plug the entrance to their hive. Professional fumigator inserted bombs and plugged the hive with a wad of this yellow shit like styrofoam. I've been swatting stragglers ever since. My swatter has eight notches in it and I feel like an ace. The computer, the original point before my digression, had begun to distort the image on any monitor plugged into it. The computer still works but is difficult to work with.

The band Anal Cunt has a song called "Technology's Gay". I agree.

Armstrong, Monotony, Yellowjacketness

What's with the dullness on campus nowadays? Monotony! Why do I feel sometimes like I'm back in junior high school? Has anyone else noticed this phenomenon?

On an unrelated note, the Yellowjacket invaders have been squelched:

These buggers (the lower right picture, Vespinae) were living in a tiny opening where the air conditioner's power cable ran through a wall from outside. They began using my office for conference calls. They have been evicted by force. Their hole, plugged. Two more nests, one in the front yard and one in the back, have also been eradicated. Maintenance guy poured gasoline down their nest-holes. I would have chosen a less noxious method, but they got too comfortable here. It's in poor taste for a neighbor to take one's hospitality for granted.