2009/09/06

Fuckups

I am typing this post on a replacement computer. The computer I've had almost four years went raspberry. It was only the latest of problems and interruptions. The yellowjackets, far from defeated, ignored their eviction notice for a time. The landlord hired a professional fumigator, who said that maintenance guy did nothing to destroy the Queen and did not adequately plug the entrance to their hive. Professional fumigator inserted bombs and plugged the hive with a wad of this yellow shit like styrofoam. I've been swatting stragglers ever since. My swatter has eight notches in it and I feel like an ace. The computer, the original point before my digression, had begun to distort the image on any monitor plugged into it. The computer still works but is difficult to work with.

The band Anal Cunt has a song called "Technology's Gay". I agree.

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A Slowly Growing List of Things to Look Forward To When You Have a Child

  • Every day is either Christmas or Halloween or Birthday or Easter
  • Leave those cats alone! They're going to scratch you and it will hurt
  • You cannot lie under circumstances, but nor can you tell the literal truth
  • Geez that kid is sharp
  • Can I have cake? Can I have cake? Can I have cake? Huh? Daddy? Can I have cake?
  • For the last time, stop asking me!
  • Noticing the growth: taller and a bit heavier to carry
  • Children's television shows
  • Food. Wasted food
  • Remembering that you once acted this way yourself
  • Watching where the both of you are going
  • The joy of hearing the word "fuck" being used experimentally, and justifying this experimentation by saying "Well they learn it eventually"
  • TANTRUMS
  • Sitting down together on the living room floor, a mess of blocks & cars & plush Care Bears strewn around you, discussing the complexities of each car's identity, its name, and why it is so humorous
  • Having to take responsibility for someone else for a change
  • More frustration than you're prepared for
  • Wicked cackling
  • Drawings of potato guys
  • Learning about the world all over again
  • Circular Logic
  • Unexpected hugs and words put beautifully together out of context
  • Waking up after 4 hours of sleep, and unexpectedly having to confront shit, in more than one place, including the carpet, a big toe, a butt, a bed, a toilet seat, and underpants