2009/08/15

List Time

Old men retired from moshpits and whatnot, sitting around the fire and reminiscing about bygone days, have aroused a mild desire to list all the bands and live music I've been bothered to witness at the risk of my own health and safety over the years. The list shall form as names float up into mind.

Coal Chamber (twice)
Ozzy Osbourne (five times)
Black Sabbath (thrice)
Neurosis (once)
Marilyn Manson (once)
Rob Zombie (twice)
Tool (once)
Soulfly (twice)
Motorhead (once)
The Melvins (once)
In Flames (once)
Arch Enemy (once)
Nile (once)
Napalm Death (twice)
Hatebreed (twice)
Agnostic Front (once)
Diecast (once)
Gizmachi (once)
The Berzerker (once)
Pantera (twice)
Type O Negative (once)
Superjoint Ritual (twice)
Slayer (once)
Mudvayne (twice)
Black Label Society (twice)
Fear Factory (thrice)
Strapping Young Lad (twice)
Insane Clown Posse (once)
Slipknot (twice)
Static-X (thrice)
Suicide Silence (once)
Bury Your Dead (once)
Assassin of Youth (four or five times)
Slitheryn (once)
Union Underground (once)
13 Days (once)
Machine Head (once)
Downset (once)
Taproot (twice)
Vision of Disorder (once)
Limp Bizkit (once)
Sevendust (once)

System of a Down (twice)
Incubus (once)
Snot (once)
Ultraspank (once)
Deftones (once)
Primus (once)
Godsmack (once)
Hed PE (once)
Puya (once)
Methods of Mayhem (once)
Kittie (once)
Disturbed (once)
Slaves on Dope (once)
Pitchshifter (once)
Crazy Town (once)
Godhead (once)
Mushroomhead (once)
Avenged Sevenfold (once)
The Black Dahlia Murder (once)
Testament (once)
Full Blown Chaos (once)
Biohazard (once)
Dark Tranquility (once)
2 Live Crew (once)

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A Slowly Growing List of Things to Look Forward To When You Have a Child

  • Every day is either Christmas or Halloween or Birthday or Easter
  • Leave those cats alone! They're going to scratch you and it will hurt
  • You cannot lie under circumstances, but nor can you tell the literal truth
  • Geez that kid is sharp
  • Can I have cake? Can I have cake? Can I have cake? Huh? Daddy? Can I have cake?
  • For the last time, stop asking me!
  • Noticing the growth: taller and a bit heavier to carry
  • Children's television shows
  • Food. Wasted food
  • Remembering that you once acted this way yourself
  • Watching where the both of you are going
  • The joy of hearing the word "fuck" being used experimentally, and justifying this experimentation by saying "Well they learn it eventually"
  • TANTRUMS
  • Sitting down together on the living room floor, a mess of blocks & cars & plush Care Bears strewn around you, discussing the complexities of each car's identity, its name, and why it is so humorous
  • Having to take responsibility for someone else for a change
  • More frustration than you're prepared for
  • Wicked cackling
  • Drawings of potato guys
  • Learning about the world all over again
  • Circular Logic
  • Unexpected hugs and words put beautifully together out of context
  • Waking up after 4 hours of sleep, and unexpectedly having to confront shit, in more than one place, including the carpet, a big toe, a butt, a bed, a toilet seat, and underpants